Why did I start this blog again?

Well, I thought I'd start by gabbing about what I want to share with the world. And it's very difficult to even think of something. I'm not sure why. I work with people who are injured. I talk to people every day about their problems, but it's very hard for me to do the same. I realize that it's somewhat hypocritical of me to be in this field when I can't do it myself. But, then again, I'm not in any kind of crisis or pain.

I guess what I can share is the ongoing progress of my marriage, which may be a bore to many. I've been married a year and a half to my high school sweetheart. But, even though we've only been married less than 2 years, we've actually lived together for 13 years. And met 16 years ago and started dating shortly after meeting in high school. I was a senior, he was a junior so it took him a while to get the courage to ask me out...but I'm glad he did.

Now, I also have discovered recently, since December 2006, that I have problems with my hormones. Which means I can't get pregnant. This breaks my heart because we've been waiting until just the right time, after finishing school, getting the good job, and making pretty good money. And now it may not be able to happen. My husband has been supportive, even mentioning that we could adopt if nothing happens, but I can't see myself doing that. And believe me, I feel very selfish when I say that because I know there are so many kids that need a home. I'm Hispanic, which raises eyebrows when people find out how old I am and that I don't have kids yet.

I am undergoing treatment to straighten my hormones out, but man, this is just really hard. I've had many a good cry over the fact that I can't have kids. My husband doesn't know that. But it really hurts knowing I can't give him children. What hurt most is that my sister just had her second kid and my brother just had his first. Both of them are younger than me. Then, we found out my neighbor also had a child, at the age of 19. I'm surrounded my babies. I even dream of going through the birthing process (what I imagine it to be, I guess) several times.

I went so far as to go see a healer whom my mom sees. This is the weird part. Right before we went to see the healer, my mom begged me to let her give me a pelvic massage. Well, I finally agreed. While she was doing that, she said she felt something in my right side, like maybe the ovary was hurt. Or fallen, as is the belief with us. So, she made the appointment with the healer and I went.

When I laid down, the lady asked me, "So you want a child?" And I was in shock. How did she know? I asked mom later if she had mentioned that to her, she had to, right? No, she said. She only mentioned that I needed an appointment. For 3 hours, I laid there on her bed while she waived her hands back and forth from the top of my head to my feet. While this lady was healing me, she actually said the spirit of another being was actually doing the healing. And this spirit saw a damaged right ovary, damaged fallopian tubes, and a shortage in calcium. This was definitely new to me. I didn't know what to think. Both my mom, who is not a healer, and this lady mentioned my right ovary. And strangest of all, when the lady started again, after 2 hours, I felt a sense of warmth drip onto my abdomen. Call me crazy, that's what happened. I actually looked up to see if she had poured anything on me.

During my second session, with her a week later, she said my ovary would be healed and I would have no more problems with fertility. The next week, I get my period! Of course, I don't know what to think. I tell my mom, who is delirious with happiness, and she said she knew I was on my period. I'll tell you later why this is so strange. I've gone and written much more than I wanted to. Does anyone else have similar experiences?